Beautiful article on sexuality and the need for intimacy after fifty...
i specialise in helping mature couples reconnect and create a more fulfilling life together.
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Sunshine Coast Qld.
IT’S taken me about two years to say ‘yes’ to receiving a yoni massage from a professional, and honestly I still can’t actually believe I just paid an expert (a professional Tantric practitioner) to come into my room and ‘massage’ my vagina.
Hold on, keep calm, let me explain. I am a sexologist, so aside from the deep interest in this form of healing, I also feel it’s my duty to explore these alternative therapies so that I can report back to you.
So here it goes, I suggest grabbing yourself a cosy seat, a cup of tea (or some red wine…), this is some serious and sensual business.
First things first, yoni is the Sanskrit word for sacred cave/vagina. Yoni Massage, similar to a massage anywhere else in the body, releases tension. However because the yoni is one of the most intimate and powerful parts of the body it’s important that the massage follows certain guidelines — a ritual if you will.
Yoni massage is profound work. A Tantric tradition studied deeply and thoroughly. Professional practitioners should have years of experience and have studied with reputable organisations. A person interested in yoni massage should get a recommendation from someone who has received one, first hand. Do not go blindly into a consultation.
A few other important factors that make a yoni massage different from sex:
• No sex! The massage therapist is only there to give to the recipient. It is all about the person receiving the massage (it is rare for women to purely receive).
• There’s a strong focus on healing and holding space for whatever emotions come up so these can be felt and experienced.
• The intention of the massage is for healing, awakening and transformation.
• Clear intentions for both the receiver and the giver.
• Clear communication about boundaries and sensation.
• The space is set up as sacred.
So, I convinced myself that having this massage was the right thing for me to do for many reasons; as a society we’ve been suppressing the power of women’s sexuality for a long time. No more, I say.
It’s important that we heal and shift the traumas and experiences stored in our yonis, so we can make way for the flow of creativity and confidence.
The night before the massage I dreamt that we had started the yoni experience and got interrupted by an intense ocean storm. So I woke up feeling like I needed to have it.
So, finally there I was, opening my door (literally and metaphorically) to Tantric practitioner Mangala Holland from Mystic Sex.
Mangala set up the room, with a few candles and some sheets on the bed.
We talked about my intentions, anything I thought was blocking my sexuality, where I thought I needed healing (in what areas of my life), how my orgasms were or were not.
Then we did an undressing ritual. I took an item of clothing off and with each piece I dropped to the floor I said out loud something I wanted to let go of.
We then meditated together.
The massage always starts with a full-body oil massage. There is no touching of the genitalia until you are fully relaxed.
Then we had an intermission if you will. A toilet break, a little visit to the snack bar (kidding). When I came back from the bathroom, we changed positions and she sat between my legs, while I wrapped them around her.
Mangala then asked if she could touch my yoni (externally). I agreed.
Then after some external massage she asked permission to enter my yoni or something similar. I agreed.
From here Mangala used certain techniques to stimulate and massage my yoni, she felt for tension like any other trained massage therapist and from there with my full permission she worked into these areas, asking me to breath and make sound accordingly.
For a lot women big change and liberation lies in connecting to breath and sound. We hold back so much in our day to day lives that just this as part of the ritual is transforming. For me, I practice making sound as much as I can throughout the day. And even still I found myself not fully able to let go.
At times, I felt sad, at times I felt orgasmic energy through my whole body, at times my whole arms went numb, at times I felt like I was meditating.
The people who I’ve told, generally want to know if I had some mind-blowing orgasm.
This practice for me ended up being one that was quite Tantric; essentially I worked on bringing the orgasmic energy up through my body, to revitalise my energetic body (my chakras) and to connect to my heart.
Afterwards I felt reassured. I felt like I understood my body, my vagina and my sexual fingerprint more than ever (I know too that the growth won’t stop here) and there were points where I know I could of let go more … maybe in the future.
The following day after the massage, I felt emotional. All day. I even felt weird about the experience. The whole experience seemed quite unbelievable and surreal.
I think this work is really important. I think there is a special type of person that can offer this work and hold this space. I think we all deserve to feel pleasure and that we need to also teach our youth about the value of pleasure and self-respect.
We’ve got a long way to go, but times are changing and we know that the change starts with the self.
Thoughts??? Would you be up for a little yoni massasge? Tell us in the link below...
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So here it is ... What is a Cuddle Party?
Cuddle Party is … a change in consciousness...
It’s about compassion, affection and touch.
Most importantly it’s about touch that is not about sex.
Wait - IS THERE such a thing?
Of course there is! Though not everyone knows it or how to find it.
One problem with finding comforting touch is that if you believe that touch is about sex, then either you are afraid it might lead to sex, or you are afraid it might not lead to sex.
Not so helpful.
We humans need touch and affection. It’s not longer a question. Nurturing, welcome consensual touch is good for you. Good for your body, heart and spirit. Good for your blood pressure, your nervous system, your emotional health, your ability to connect with and trust people, your ability to respect and care for yourself, your creativity, sense of safety and comfort and belonging. Infants who are deprived of touch fail to thrive; we never outgrow the need.
Why is it so hard to find?
Because for the most part, we think it has to do with sexual relationship, or at least romance, hooking up or ‘attraction’.
What if it just has do with being a human being who cares about other human beings?
Kindness, compassion, comfort and nourishment.
Cuddle Party is a change in our consciousness to reclaim this option in our lives.
Cuddle Party is … a workshop!
Though touch is natural, the skills that make it welcome and enjoyable have to be learned. Skills of communication, boundaries, asking for what you want, and saying ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ with clarity and kindness.
Cuddle Party is led by trained and certified Cuddle Party Facilitators. The Facilitator’s job is to guide you into those skills gently and easily, in a fun, safe and light hearted way. We welcome you and create an atmosphere of respect, and remain available for questions and support.
At a Cuddle Party you gain:
* Clarity and confidence
* Boundary and communication skills
* Comfort, support and encouragement
* The secrets to welcome, relaxed, non-sexual touch
The skills you learn at Cuddle Party translate into every day life, right from the start. When boundaries and consent are clear, every relationship is easier.
Where else can you attend a workshop in your pajamas? ... Philip does..!
Cuddle Party is … a social event!
We open with a Welcome Circle - about 45 minutes of introductions, rules and a few games to help everyone get comfortable. We teach communication and boundary skills in ways that are lighthearted and fun.
Then we open up for ‘free-style’ cuddling. You have plenty of time to relax, chat, share a back rub or other welcome touch, cuddle, have a snack or just hang out.
You can come to a Cuddle Party to meet new people, to enjoy amazing conversations, to touch, to be touched, to have fun, to practice asking for what you want, to practice saying “no” to what you don’t want — all in a setting structured to be a safe place for exploration and enjoyment. Shucks, you can even come to a Cuddle Party just to cuddle!
We hope you join us.
Maroochy Waters (full address on Booking)
Wednesday 14th January 2015 at 7pm
$20 per person
Call 0419171664 (Philip, Sunshine Coast Qld)
Philip as an Awakening Within practitioner uses a body-centred approach which changes everything by uncovering the hidden truths and emotions held within the body. The focus is on feeling and embodying what you really want, not just understanding it intellectually as our mids can tell many stories usually based on fear, here the emphasis is on 'feeling each moment' in your body. Most traditional counsellors and psychologists are not trained in the practical bodywork side of intimacy skills. Here you get an integrated approach drawing from wisdom of both Eastern and Western conscious sexuality teachings and practices.
It is totally normal to feel some fear when opening up a very important and sacred part of your being. Relax in knowing that I am truly here to support you in every way and a 15 minute phone de-breif is included with each session .
Many say they are interested in exploring new sensual horizons in their stayed intimate relationship but their partner is reluctant, so they are not sure what should they do ..? Start with an individual session or two for yourself and get a greater sense of what is possible by pursuing this. I am happy to share tips that can make talking with your partner about it more successful.
Recommended session time is 2hours plus, these sessions can not be rushed as the body requires time to open to receive touch and integrate the experience. Usually three sessions are recommended and along the way the de-armouring process will occur lightening and releasing various emotional blocks built up and held over time in the body tissue.
The seeker is in control at all times, it's your session, before every sessions boundaries are agreed upon to keep you safe and your experience sacred.
After a bodywork or coaching session a minimum of 90mins time to yourself is suggested, it is generally not recommended to go back to work that day if possible. Time afterwards for grounding in nature bare foot on grass or the beach allows you to integrate changes that began in the session so you can receive the optimal benefits.
Philip is available for sessions on the Sunshine coast and Brisbane, by appointment 0419 171 664
If you enjoyed reading this 'Blog' please like & subscribe www.realfeelings.net on Facebook for followup blogs.
Do you yearn for something.. fulfilling, sustainable, more intimate and heart connected in your relationships with yourself and others?
Tantric and Sacred Intimacy practices can bring that – ‘WOW FACTOR !'back into your intimate relationships with hands on practical experience and tutoring for all ages, singles, partners and lovers of all sexual orientations.
Realising your potential to connect more intimately and deeply with your lover, or partner - with your heart, body & mind. Increasing your knowledge, confidence and authenticity with others.
Experience a new way of relating with yourself and partner, moving in the heart space of tantric play and exploration. Each session is a unique experience of activities from the; Tantra, Shamanic or Sacred Intimacy approach to conscious relationship agreements.
It’s a safe yet challenging space for beginners yet interesting and deep enough for those more experienced in tantra. Be open to a much clearer understanding of your protective Ego and living in the present on the Tantric and Sacred Intimacy spectrum. More importantly, where it is you want to be? And what you are prepared to do to achieve your desired outcome?
Call Philip today and enjoy the festive season Ph: 0419 171 664 Sunshine Coast Q.
Reiki Master Healing - Reiki Massage
Historically, the practice of Reiki emerged in 19th Century Japan and from there was taken to Hawaii, California and the Western World. The concept of a universal life force has been recognized in many cultures for thousands of years and similar concepts are used in complimentary physical and spiritual practices such as tai chi and yoga. Reiki Master Philip Millroy has direct Reiki lineage to Mikao Usui. Philip practices and teaches Reiki taking time with each client and student to ensure a true understanding and mastery of ones self is achieved.
Philip Millroy Genuine Reiki Lineage
Reiki Healing enhances well-being of the emotions and the pain body for which the effects can be felt in the physical body as love, peace and balance once restored. Reiki is a journey to becoming a master of self. This hands-on form of healing is simple, direct and based on accessing universal life energy which is part of every living thing in the universe. Reiki healing is available to everyone once they choose to make it part of their lives.
Reiki is not a religion and can therefore be practiced by people of different faiths, it is about encouraging people to have love, trust in themselves and the universe. The universal energy finds its own way through the body as the practitioner treats the whole person through the body and chakras. The recipient draws as much energy as they need to balance a particular area through the hands on healing.
When is Reiki Is used in conjunction with Spiritual, Relationship or Sexual Coaching it can be an immensely simple yet powerful method of restoring the flow of energy through the body by removing blockages. In particular helping to balance the masculine and feminine energies within the body. Blockages may take the form of stress, illness or undesirable lifestyle choices. Allowing the conscious mind to acknowledge and verbalize these blockages, thus empowering you to respond to situations creatively leading to action to help remove blockages and restore universal energy flow.
Just a thought – “Orthodox Medicine used to be Alternative Medicine”
You can choose to change your life simply by making different choices using Dr Usui’s five Reiki Principals
1. Just for today, I am full of joy
2. Just for today, I am full of love
3. Just for today, I do my work honestly
4. Just for today, I am kind to my neighbour and every living thing.
5. Just for today, I give thanks for my blessings
I love myself – SPIRITUALLY – PHYSICALLY – MENTALLY – EMOTIONALLY
A relaxing 90minute combination of Reiki including drumming, prayer, symbols and a holistic combination of massage strokes to completely relax the entire body from head to toe .... just pure bliss...
An ancient and powerful art of healing derived from Native American culture which uses the rhythmic beat of drums to promote healing. Drum healing works with sound and vibration and helps stimulate the flow of energy through the body, promoting self-healing. The steady rhythmic beat of the drums aids relaxation and also helps align the body's major energy centers (chakras).
Drumming can be included in all massages and healings at your request.
Reiki Client Cathy writes…
“…you took my life to the next level with your healing (reiki). I am truly grateful. I’ve asked the angels to bless you…”
Call Philip to confirm your
All details on www.realfeelings.net
Philip Millroy | Real Feelings Maroochydore | firstname.lastname@example.org | 0419171664
Skype sessions NOW AVAILABLE
Energetic orgasms will help clear the body of unexpressed emotions, fears, and habits. They put a bounce in your step, give you a positive outlook, energise and yet relax the body, and balance the chakras. Energy orgasms can be an extremely healing spiritual experience, giving you a sense of the forces of creation rushing through you, a sense of going beyond the body/mind, reminding you who you are beyond your everyday reality. Energy orgasms help pre-orgasmic women to become genitally orgasmic and help genitally orgasmic women to become much more multi-orgasmic (“megagasmic”).
Energetic Orgasm is available to both Women and Men, the great advantage for the male lover will be the new ability to separate ejaculation from orgasm, thus the man is able to enjoy many orgasms and prolong love making, yet still feeling satisfied without relying on mechanical sex and ejaculation of the past. This generally enhances and prolongs love making for both and provides techniques for the man to recirculate ejaculation energy without feeling frustration, while both freely give and receive sexual pleasure to and from each other. Energetic orgasms make partner sex more ecstatic and fulfilling. It’s safe sex, a good substitute for harmful addictions, and a great party trick!
Incredible... as this may sound!
Some energetic orgasms very strong, and some are wonderfully subtle. Generally, the more time you put into building up the energy, the more powerful the sensations. You’ll experience “electricity” shooting through your entire body, hands and lips tingle, and there is a sense of release and receiving at the same time. You will feel high, euphoric, light-headed. It feels very different than a clitoral or lingam orgasm (but it can occur simultaneously with clitoral orgasm). It may feel very sexual or it may not. There are many variations of energy orgasms, just as there are many variations of clitoral orgasms.
Having a experienced person with you and helping to circulate your energy can also be very helpful especially the first few times you run healing sexual energy. Sexual polarity is best maintained when a woman holds the space for a man and a man holds the masculine space for a woman. Although holding the space for the the same sex can be satisfying as each may use masculine and feminine polarity in the initial experiences.
So lets get comfortable and move some energy now...
You may be dressed or undressed, form the sexual healing view the biggest healings are derived when one is undressed and completely open to receive body's healing orgasmic energies.
Ready... (breath, movement, presence, touch, sound)
Lay down on a firm surface, i.e. hard bed, carpet, sandy beach, grass. Bend your knees up. (You can also try it standing or sitting.)
Take a few relaxing breaths. Empty your mind. Let go of tension. Let go of ego. Settle in.
Begin to take deeper breaths. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth like you are blowing out birthday candles. Make it completely “circular” with no pauses between inhales and exhales.
Rock your pelvis, arching your lower back on the inhale, flattening on the exhale. Squeeze the perineum muscles (the muscles you squeeze to stop the flow of urine) on the exhale. These squeezes can actually stimulate the clitoris, G-spot and prostrate area, while pumping up energy throughout your entire body. In other words, inhale while filling your belly like a balloon, exhale and flatten your back while contracting the PC muscles. (Repeat continuously). Your knees may open and close like butterfly wings. Let the breathing and contractions be erotic.
7 Chakras, simply breathe with intent for energy flow ..Energy follows thought, so use your mind to begin to pull in energy from the earth/atmosphere into the perineum (the area between your anus and your sex). Build fire in the sex centre (1st and 2nd chakras). Circulate the energy back and forth. When this area is well “lit,” go up to the belly area and start circulating from sex to belly, belly to sex (2nd and 3rd chakras)… circulate until the fire is burning stronger.
Go to the next level—the heart. Circulate from belly to heart, heart to belly (3rd and 4th chakras).
Now try the throat. Circulate from heart to throat, throat to heart (4th and 5th chakras). When the energy moves up, you may automatically make some sounds. If not, you can consciously make sounds, as this helps to open the throat for the energy to move up. Keep circulating between the heart and throat, until you feel the energy move up to the Third Eye.
Circulate the energy from throat to Third Eye, Third Eye to throat (5th and 6th chakras).
Circulate from the Third Eye to the top of your head (7th chakra). At a certain point it may feel like the energy is shooting out the top of your head, like water out of a hose. Soon, you will kick into full-body orgasm. Let go and Go with it. Your breathing patterns will change. You may scream, you may “melt,” you may laugh hysterically, you may feel your back arch and your fists may clench. With practice you can learn to ride the waves and keep the orgasms going for a very long time.
Be patient. At first you may not experience the orgasm part of this process. Some get it on their first try and for some it can take years. Keep practicing. Even if you don’t experience the orgasm, just the breathing and energy circling alone is of great value. It will clear out blocks, so eventually the orgasm can move through you. Blocks can be experienced in many ways—crying, gagging, feeling frustrated, old memories surfacing. Just keep breathing. Visualise releasing the “old” on the exhale, ringing in the “new” on the inhale.
Energy levels will most likely rise and fall, like mercury in a thermometer. Just go back down to the area where it slipped to and start again. You’ll want to tap into your sexual centre when energy slips, and pump those sex muscles regularly!
One of the most important keys to learning this technique is KNOWING that it is possible. You’ll be convinced when you watch someone do it. It is best learned from someone who practices it.
If your PC muscles are out of shape or feel crampy, don’t squeeze them so hard. or squeeze them every 3 or 4 breaths instead of every breath. If you want to. use your hands to touch the centres where you are concentrating on sending the energy. Or circulate them above your body in a fanning motion. The hands help guide and create pathways for the energy to follow. Some knowledge of the seven chakras is useful when learning and using this technique. Visualise the qualities of the chakras as you breathe into them. (There are many books on the chakras.)
This technique is based on the Fire Breath Orgasm, taught by Harley Swiftdeer of the Deer Tribe. According to Harley, the Cherokees would do fire breath orgasm in their ceremonies and it was an important part of sex education and healing. He has introduced this powerful tool to thousands of people. Variations of the F.B.O. are found in all the sexually knowledgeable cultures of the past, like the Tantra and the Taoists.
Good luck! As you receive pleasure the whole universe receives pleasure through you, life begins to lighten, the void of emptiness is filled with your joy and love.
Booking a session for singles and couples www.realfeelings.net
This is honestly a really great piece from Will Smith:
"The central idea of love is not even a relationship commitment, the first thing is a personal commitment to be the best version of yourself with or without that person that you’re with."
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith have one of the most celebrated marriages in Hollywood. The couple has been together for 17 years, and seem to have navigated the murky waters of marriage and fame masterfully. They seem to be each other’s best friend, and have raised two talented and ambitious children in their son, rapper-actor Jaden and daughter, singer-actress Willow. But in a recent interview with NecoleBitchie, Will discussed just how much work is required for he and his wife to make things work. He opened up about insecurity and how it can derail a relationship–and also shared just how much loving Jada has helped him be the best man he can be.
“I think a lot of people think that when you have money, that everything gets really easy–Hell Naw!” he says. “Jada and I have been together for 17 years. If you look at it like a sports record, we are probably like 15 and 2. When we got started, we both truly connected on wanting to be better. That’s where it all started. There were other people that we were dating and other people that we were attracted to but there was a commitment to constantly be better that was what we connected on. Our whole world and relationship was that, “Hey, I know that I may not be all of that today but what I’m not going to do is lay around and not keep working to be better to deserve you.”
“I would say that concept is very central to having any success in this game of love at all. The central idea of love is not even a relationship commitment, the first thing is a personal commitment to be the best version of yourself with or without that person that you’re with. You have to every single day, mind, body, and spirit, wake up with a commitment to be better. Don’t make that same mistake tomorrow that you made today.”
“When you look around at the six people that you spend the most time with, that’s who you are. I think that in making those decisions in who you are going to be married to, who your friends are going to be, those are really huge, critical, life decisions. Who gets to talk to you everyday, is almost like the food that you eat. It is a very huge critical situation to choose who the people are that you are spending your life with, spending your time with and who you are choosing to give your love and everything to.”
“The idea is that you are two people together but in that process, the marriage cannot be a prison. There has to be a freedom that allows a person to grow. A person has to be allowed to make mistakes and a person has to be allowed to become and grow without the threat of punishment. I think that in the concept of our marriages because of our own insecurities, we lay it out in a way like, “Hey, that’s a deal breaker.” I hear people talk about the concept of the deal breakers and it’s really in conflict with truly loving somebody.”
“As soon as you put yourself in a relationship, you’ve got to check your insecurities when it comes to love. When you love somebody and you feel yourself slipping, you will fight, scratch, and claw, not be in that uncomfortable space. You have traumas that happen with your mother and father, or an old girlfriend, or an old boyfriend, that you’ve got to address personally if you want to truly be able to love somebody. Our traumas keep us away from being able to truly love someone unconditionally.”
“In this world, there are difficulties with just getting out of the bed everyday. Trying to love on top of that is excruciating. It is absolutely not something to be taken lightly or easy when you say you’re going to marry somebody, you have to be willing to go through hell. You have to be willing to collide with the weakest parts of yourself. You have to look at the things about you on a higher spiritual plane. You have to look at the things about you that are cowardly, that are angry or mean, resentful. You have to be able to look at those things about yourself that are not spiritually healthy parts. Love truly is when you change yourself for a better love with someone.”
“Jada has made me a better person than anyone on earth could have ever done. There is nobody on earth at this point that in my life and in my career with the successes and the things that I’ve done, there is nobody on Earth that I would still try to be better for. Jada is a beast. Just her passion, power, and relentless unwillingness to let me lay down at night when I’ve only done 92 percent of what I was supposed to do that day, holds me to a higher standard.”
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Philip Millroy is an Awakening Within relationship/sexuality coach & educator based on the Sunshine Coast. He is also a qualified and experienced body worker, reiki master, cuddle party facilitator and speaker/trainer.